What happened to respecting other people's sensitivities? Did the 1980's never happen? by Steven Townshend

 

Your university days are not only the days that you spend pushing back your own personal boundaries of knowledge and accumulating the skills and information that you will need for the rest of your life, and for those of you attending a more prestigious institution the opportunity to create a network of friends that may open doors for you in the future, but since the 1960s it has been an opportunity for the young and virile to drink too much and sow their wild oats. It is a time of limited responsibility before you are thrust headlong into the world of serious relationships and negotiating the corporate ladder and ensuring you always have enough left to pay the ever demanding Direct Debits at the start of the month. Whilst most university campuses may not quite resemble the Frat parties of the American films - Animal House still being my personal favourite - it is not unusual to see a student's weekly bin bag bulging with wine, beer and vodka bottles. You may not find "Getting Blind Drunk and Trying to Break into Your University at Three in the Morning" on the prospectus, but it is still an important part of your education! Character building, even. 

 

And what about sex? Surely it is understood that many students gain their first real sexual experience at university; as well as their second, third and ... well, who's counting? It is an experimental process and most students will still be novices; no matter how much they believe otherwise. So long as no one gets hurt then it is simply an opportunity for young people to learn about sexual etiquette in a relatively sheltered environment.

 

But there's the rub. Like most liberal-minded people I include the requirement that no-one gets hurt and there has been a nasty, insidious trend in some universities to broadcast on social media what should be a very private activity.  The old, and outdated, pastime of men boasting about their conquests down the pub has always said more about the man's insecurities than his prowess; but when this boasting becomes critique and the mates down the pub become a much wider audience of people satisfying their puerile interest in other people's embarrassment because the victim's vulnerability makes them feel more powerful, this ceases to be a childish bit of male preening and instead takes on the mantle of humiliation and bullying.

 

University students should be the future great and good of our nation; the doctors, scientists and policy makers of the future; people we can trust and respect. Can we respect people who set up Facebook pages encouraging students to "Rate Your Shag?" Can we trust people that post details of recent sexual experiences without the consent of their partner for the titilation of other students? How would you feel if your friends and relatives could read the details and perceived shortcomings of your bedroom performance after a drunken liaison? As Durham student Cressida Peever writes in student paper Palatinate, "It is one thing to share a cheeky detail with friends. It is another thing entirely to belittle or berate a previous (let alone current) sexual partner on the Internet."

 

And this is not just one University. The practice has become widespread with Facebook eventually agreeing to take down such pages and universities taking action against those students responsible. The National Union of Students have described such behaviour as bullying and Peter Mercer, Vice-President (Welfare) has been quoted as saying, "NUS has long taken leadership on tackling bullying behaviour." He goes on to say, "'Banter' that seeks to humiliate and belittle is unacceptable and must be challenged both on and offline." All universities will have an anti-bullying policy and this type of behaviour clearly contravenes this.

 

This type of offensive, humiliating and destructive behaviour should not be tolerated anywhere, much less in our universities and amongst those vulnerable youngsters that have just left the security and protection of their homes and family. What will it take before these people understand the gravity of their actions? It is estimated that every year at least 20 young people in the UK commit suicide due to bullying; suicides amongst female university students have almost doubled in the last few years. Although I am not suggesting that these bullying incidents and suicides are due to insensitive sexual partners, these statistics are evidence of the fragility of some young people and the potentially frightening consequences of a thoughtless action.

 

Whilst the universities have a responsibility to safeguard its students, these students should be responsible enough to help look after each other and that responsibility isn't restricted to refraining from posting your crude observations on the Internet. Your latest sexual experience may have been more about self-gratification than mutual love and respect but that does not mean that you can discuss this encounter for the entertainment of your friends. Sex should always be between consenting adults and, as Cressida Peever says, "So should the sharing of information regarding it." Discussing your sexual experience with other students without your partners consent, especially if it is derogatory,  is bullying and bullies should not be tolerated.